Basically for the past week I have been livin life, doin me, workin, readin books, eatin animal crackers, embarking on a cross country tour of every TJ Maxx in Northern Virginia, and explaining to confused people that Peyton is not my child. Last night I said a tearful goodbye to Katie Rogers as she will soon depart for her camp counselor job. Should animal crackers be called animal crackers or animal cookies? Would love to hear some opinions on this.
Since some of you might not be inhabitants of Northern Virginia and others of you might be living under rocks I would just like to tell you about a place that you should definitely check out should you find yourself here for a day with nothing but a sense of adventure and an unlimited budget. Mosaic District is a shopping center for young hip trendy people. If you come here you can blend in easily by doing any of the following: pushing a baby stroller, carrying a yoga mat, or wearing sandals with straps to your knees. You don’t have to know anything about babies or yoga or fashion, you just have to look the part. Once you have one of these props you are ready to spend the day at Mosaic District. If you bring a friend the two of you can play a piano duet on this random piano that has been placed outside in the shopping center. You can watch a movie at Angelika Theater where everything is made of glass and everyone picks their movie seats before going into the movie so you can roll in precisely as the movie starts and spend every last possible moment before the movie shopping and eating. You can visit the World’s Largest Target (I’m not totally sure if it is the largest in the world but once you go there you will realize it is pretty safe to assume). On Sunday there is a farmer’s market where you can get green beans that are actually yellow. You can have dinner at True Food Kitchen where all the servers have shirts that say things like TRUE, HONEST, and FARMY. You can stuff your face with this delicious healthy food and then go across the street for gelato in flavors like raspberry lemon vinaigrette and ratatouille a la pomegranate and grey poupon. Pictured below is Katie McCann at Mosaic getting some professional photography done.
The Bachelorette
I don’t really watch tv except for The Bachelorette and HGTV because these are the shows that apply to my life. There will most likely be a time in the near future when I will face the struggle of deciding which of the 25 men competing for my love is the one, and then we will buy a Tiny Home so that we can save money for expensive vacations. I would like to share some thoughts on The Bachelorette that you might only understand if you watch it so I suggest you start watching.
Terms that The Bachelorette contestants love to use:
-non-issue: noun, I am assuming this refers to everything that is not an issue, which is a lot of things. Ex: “It’s petty and it’s a non-issue.”
-lapel: noun, the part of the suit where the rose goes. “There are six of us with empty lapels so there is a lot riding on this cocktail party.” *JoJo cancels cocktail party*
-absolutely: adverb, the response that you have to say when JoJo gives you a rose. “Will you accept this rose?” “Absolutely.”
You can learn a lot of lessons from watching The Bachelorette. One important takeaway that I think we can all relate to is: Not All Days are Filled with Yachts and Swimming with Seals. You can do these things 5 or 6 days each week, but if you think that all 7 are going to be filled with these two activities, you need to lower your expectations.
One of the best parts of every Bachelorette episode is when the contestants just stumble upon random things that were so obviously placed by producers but the contestants pretend they had some role in finding them. Examples: “Lol I just found these two human-sized inflatable hamster balls outside the mansion,” “Is that a mariachi band whaaaat no way would you look at that a full-on mariachi band in the middle of a deserted street and no one here but us to enjoy it,” “A firework show months before the Fourth of July? Staaahhhppp.”
Gardening
I decided yesterday that gardening is in, and before you sigh and say, “This is just another phase,” let me tell you about my experience. My mom and I went to Merrifield Garden Center and before you think to yourself, “This is the last straw, Camille is officially an old lady,” let me explain that this was no ordinary trip to the garden center. I came in search of a cactus also known as a succulent. A few months ago my beloved bamboo plant bit the dust, leaving an empty space on this table in my room and also an empty space in my heart, a space that could only be filled by a species of the plant variety. When we got to Merrifield we entered the greenhouse and were greeted by none other than Free Popcorn. This is no ordinary garden center; this is on the same level as a movie theater or a carnival. After eating popcorn and searching for 30 minutes for The Perfect Succulent, I found it. It is actually very puny and one of the only succulents I could afford and nearly broke the bank. I don’t know if I should name it or if that’s going too far, but I am pretty attached already. I learned how to care for my plant from a lady who works there. Care is very simple, involving monthly watering, similar to the care of a small child or a hermit crab.
Because we had the experience of a lifetime yesterday, we decided to try again today and visit another garden center. I invested in yet another cactus because it was calling my name and it was $2.99 which is just outside of my price range but I decided to go for it. Both plants are tiny and cute and when I look at them my heart skips a beat. Although I understand that when you call a plant cute that’s when you know you’ve lost it, I’m okay with this.
Food
The other night I was eating some organic gluten-free non-GMO soy-free dairy-free ice-free cream-free vegan ice cream that my sister left in our freezer. On the front of the container this ice-cream says “rich vanilla with a tropical undertone.” Tropical undertone? Was I eating sunscreen? Once this thought occurred to me I just couldn’t shake that idea and the ice-cream tasted like sunscreen for the rest of the night. But before that, it was actually pretty tasty and if I closed my eyes and tried really hard to believe, it was almost like I was eating real ice cream. Sometimes, if you have limited resources, you can trick yourself into thinking something is dessert when it’s actually healthy. This was one of those times.
MY SUMMER IN A NUTSHELL 